It's 9:54pm and I just poured myself another glass of wine so I might as well type. This is late for me, y'all. Like, super late. And if I am up this late, I'm usually not (still) drinking. It's only my second glass, but still. You see, I'm drinking this wine that has become crack for me and it's the only wine I want and no other kind will do. Cara introduced me to it, it's Picpoul de Pinet Coteaux de Languedoc and I am hooked. Thing is, there's only one place I can find it on the Northshore. They sell it at this little grocery store in Covington that I now go to all the time just so I can get this wine. I buy groceries there too, but I do it just so I'm not rolling up in there with Hayes in the basket buying 2-3 bottles at a time with no food in the cart. But they don't have the best food options, so I end up doing two grocery trips now. I feel like this is sad, but I don't care. Totally worth it.
So the thing that I knew was going to happen started happening. I brought Neal to the airport Tuesday so he could go back to work and Hayes totally noticed that he was gone. And he was not happy about it. He was the fussiest he's ever been on Wednesday. At school, at home...it was awful. And he's still too young to really understand, so I don't know that there's a whole lot I can do about it. I'm prepared to have calendars with stickers and stuff (do kids still love stickers? I did.) for when he gets a little older, but I don't know what to do now. By Thursday he was doing a lot better, but Tuesday afternoon and all day Wednesday were ROUGH. Poor baby. And sometimes when Neal's here and he's sitting in his chair Hayes will crawl up to his feet and Neal will move his toes up and down in his shoes and Hayes laughs and tries to grab them. So yesterday morning Hayes is playing in our closet while I get ready and he grabs Neal's tennis shoe and starts pressing on it where his toes would be. It's a miracle that I didn't start sobbing.
We've been battling over food lately. Some nights he loves everything and other nights he hates everything. He is so fickle when it comes to food. The only things that he will eat no matter what are bananas, cheerios, sweet potatoes, and apple sauce. Everything else is up in the air depending on what day it is. I pureed some zucchini for him one night and he loved it. I tried to give it to him the next night and he wouldn't have it. He has started eating the school lunch when at daycare, and of course he loves everything THEY give him. I think he's more agreeable with food at school than he is at home.
I think we're going to go to the LSU-Auburn game. But I'm worried about leaving him for that long. Neal's parents are coming in and they're great with him, but we haven't left him with anyone at home lately without one of us being there. This makes me nervous. He does great at school, but that's school. It makes my stomach turn to even think about it. I just don't want for him to be looking around wondering where we are. But Neal and I haven't really done anything without him. We went to dinner one night when he was a few months old, but that's it. It would probably be good for us to, but we're so glad to all be together when Neal gets home from work that we don't really care about trying to have 'date night.' But it would probably be good for us to get out together.
On the way back from dropping Neal off at the airport I stopped at the Whole Foods in Metairie. It's the first time I've ever been in that one; it's pretty. I got "feel good chick food" since I was bummed out: chicken salad, crackers, snickerdoodles, Fiji water, and (of course) my crack wine. We really need a Whole Foods on this side of the lake. I'm not putting it past me to drive 60 miles round-trip just to get Sonoma Chicken Salad, but I would prefer if it were closer.
And I'm feeling guilty now because Hayes turns 1 in less than 2 months and....I don't want to have a birthday party. See, we just had him baptized last month and had the whole family over to the house for a party right after to celebrate him. He was just perfect throughout the ceremony and then slept through 90% of the after-party. We had a party here for my sister and her husband earlier in the year and he slept through the whole thing then too. So, I just, I don't know. It's stressful getting my family (and Neal's parents) together and I kind of am not ready to do it again so soon. My Mom can't drive right now because of some health issues(and she's 1000 kinds of crazy right now) so I have to coordinate her transportation over here, which then leads to tension and maybe an argument between her and my aunt (who don't get along) and then we only have one guest room so if my sister comes in then Neal's parents have to get a hotel room (which makes me feel weird) and then my dad's family stays in one room during the party and my mom's family in another and then my mom and her sister avoid each other. Them my mom and Neal's mom fight over Hayes (and it's so awkward),and ....it all stresses me out. If I had been thinking about all of this a few months ago, I should have scheduled his baptism around his birthday and done the whole thing at once. But I didn't and now I don't want to throw a birthday party for my 1-year old and I feel bad about it. I would rather just get a cake and celebrate with the 3 of us. We'll totally do the whole party thing next year, I just don't feel super ready for it right now.
I'm starting to fade since it's past my bedtime and I can't think of anything else I wanted to write about. Maybe I'll remember what else I have to say and it will be super hysterical and I'll post it later this week? Goodnight, bitches.
