Nosy Nosy Neighbor (Me)

The pimp of our neighborhood is my 60-something year old neighbor. She is a retired teacher but she still works part time. Over the past year, I've seen her go out with a bunch of different dudes. I guess she finally found one she really liked, because his truck is at her house 7 nights a week. When the in-laws were in town, Marilyn was all "Um, your neighbor had a friend over. His truck was at her house early. Like, real early." So they're totally shacking up. Play on, playa'.

Our other next door neighbors are out of town all week. They went on a week long trip to Alaska, so he asked me to keep an eye on their house while they're gone. So of course I took an inventory of all the toys in their back yard to make sure that none go missing. I take my job as nosy neighborhood look-out totally seriously.

Neal left for work Tuesday so he'll miss both New Year's and the National Championship game. SUCKS.

I got a sewing machine for Christmas, but I haven't opened the box yet. I guess I need to learn how to sew now? It makes me think of that episode of the Cosby Show when Denise sews a shirt for Theo that is supposed to be a replica of this designer shirt that his parents wouldn't give him the money to buy. It was all jacked up with one sleeve shorter than the other and the buttons all out of whack. This is exactly how I picture my sewing projects turning out. I can see me in tears with Neal going, "Baby, it looks GREAT!"

I went to Houma today with Mom and the fam to visit my grandparents. I stopped at the ATM to get some money for the bridge toll so when I got to the toll booth I gave the lady a twenty. She looks at me and goes "got anything smaller?" I'm like, "No, sorry, that's all I've got." She then gave me the dirtiest freaking look and handed me my change. Ummmm BITCH. My coworker was telling me that she was going across the bridge one morning and got in the toll tag lane. When she got to the booth, she realized that her mom had taken the toll tag out of her car and she didn't have it with her. She had cash with her, but the toll bitch wouldn't take it. She shut down all the lanes Coyote Ugly style and made her exit the toll way and get back in line. I am 99.9% sure that this is the same hag that gave me the attitude today. I don't expect toll bitches to be thrilled with their lot in life, but COME ON.

My other coworker Cindy made some cookies around Christmas and gave some to all of us to take home. She told me that they were "ricoytcha" cheese cookies (I'm pretty sure she meant ricotta cheese). Neal tried one before I did and he took one bite and made the funniest face I have ever seen right before he said "they taste like feet" and spit them out. I decided not to sample them.

It's like 70 degrees outside right now, so I'm not feeling like it's New Year's. My azaleas are blooming too??? It just seems wrong. Our tree is still up and while I play like I'm going to take it down soon, I will probably wait for Neal to get home. But it's almost time for Mardi Gras decorations!!! And king cake!!! Whoop whoop! Happy New Year's y'all and Geaux Tigers!!!