Ohhhhhhhhhhh Y'allllllllllllll

How about some short, short stories? Here we go:

1. We went to breakfast Saturday morning at the Abita Springs Cafe. It's a little breakfast place in walking distance from our house. The guy who owns it used to work at Brennan's and runs it with slave labor, aka his wife and children and probably nieces and nephews or something. Now, the cafe is not a place to eat if you are in a hurry. These people take FOREVER to do just about anything. And they forget stuff all of the time. But you can sit outside and the western omelet is pretty good and they serve grilled biscuits that are the size of your face, so you just accept the slowness and tip well anyway. And the owner loves to talk to everyone. He will talk to you for 10 minutes while your coffee mug is empty and then look around for his wife and be like, "Oh, do you need more coffee? I'm not sure where she is. Hold on, I'll get it for you." But he did spout out one little piece of advice to all the guys who were sitting outside. Here it is: "Never let your wife smell a baby or a new car. 'Cause she'll want both." And you know what? He's so right.

2. I made a Halloween wreath this weekend. I got a foam wreath, wrapped it in pieces of black fabric with 'boo' written on it in orange, and then painted some wooden letters (they spell out 'Boo') orange and hung them in the middle of the wreath with ribbon. I guess it turned out cute, but I didn't think about how the outside elements would affect the trusty glue dots I used to attach the letters to the ribbon and then to the wreath. So the letters kept on falling off, and it was making our house look like it was stupid and couldn't spell the word BOO. I took everything inside to re-do and almost put the letters on backwards, so it would have spelled 'OOB'. So guess what the new word in our house is now? OOB. Sounds like, 'boob' minus the first 'b.' Everything is oob now. It's a verb, noun, and adjective. We've used it in the following phrases:

You're an oob.
Son of an oob.
What the oob?
He totally oobed it.

It's a very versatile made-up word. Feel free to oob it if you want to.

3. Pants were 40% off at the Gap yesterday and I think today too. FYI. I got some flared khaki colored work pants and even though I got the ankle pants, I still had to hem them. They're super long, but very cute. And then I got some brown wedge mid-calf boots from Belk for 40% off; they have the best deals on shoes. I need the weather to get permanently cool so that I can stop worrying about getting pedicures. So with the money that I save on not having to get pedicures, I can spend on shoes. See how that works?

4. I went home for lunch yesterday to see Neal before he left for work. He left a few minutes before I did. I had a meeting in Mandeville so I passed him at the gas station on my way there. I didn't stop because I'm pretty sure I would have caused a huge sobbing crying scene at the gas pumps of the Danny & Clyde's because I didn't want him to go. You see, yesterday was the worst day of my period and I was a teeny bit emotional. Neal leaving for work + bad period day = batshit crazy. Thankfully I was able to maintain enough control of myself to make it through my afternoon meetings. Then I felt muuuuuch better after I bought pants and shoes. Retail therapy - for the win.

5. I usually don't like mainstream country music a whole lot. I normally go for the indie/Americana/Texas type of country. You know, raspy voiced boys that sing about drinking whiskey and ex-girlfriends and stuff. (Until they get married, have kids, and become too happy to write anything good so they sell out and go on tour with Rascall Flatts.) But, um, I am sort of loving Keith Urban's song "Long Hot Summer." I jam the shit out of it. I think I'm going to buy it on iTunes right this second.