TMI

I went to the old Hobb Lobb (I'm trying out a nickname) Monday when I was off. I needed some plate/bowl hangers so that I could hang our 4 Tabasco gumbo bowls on the wall in kitchen. I figured that I might as well hang them because we have used them once. I don't want to put them in the dishwasher because they are so adorable that I don't want them ruined and I absolutley refuse to handwash anything, so they've been in the cabinet for the last year or so. While I was there I checked out everything in the Mardi Gras aisle and there was an adorable Mardi Gras wreath made out of purple, green and gold ornaments. It was 59 f-ing dollars. Like, WHAT? I only considered buying it for about a minute and thirty seconds (it was so cute) before I realized that I have a hard time spending $59 on a pair of jeans that I will keep for 7 years. Now I know that I can probably attempt to make this wreath, but I see it going very badly. But I may still give it a go anyway. Yikes. Anyway, I was checking out with my 4 bowl hangers and I was in line behind the biggest, angriest, piece of shit on the face of the planet. He started berating the poor checkout girl because he thought he was buying some item on sale when, in fact, it was not on sale. So he yells for the manager and tells her that the checkout girl was giving him attitude and then he stormed out. The checkout girl then runs to the back to (I'm assuming) cry. So before I leave I go up to the manager and tell her that the checkout girl didn't do anything wrong and that the guy was just an asshole. And then I felt bad about saying the word "asshole" because I'm pretty sure that everyone who works in HL is super religious because they all look like characters out of Big Love.

Then yesterday I was in a meeting and we were discussing something that we needed more info on so I decided to google it on my phone. Thank goodness no one was looking over my shoulder because my search history popped up and the word "vagina" was definitely in there. But that's life when you're trying to get preg....you feel something weird and you're all like, hmmmmmm I wonder if.... and then you google it and then it's in your iphone search history forever and I should never ever try to search anything on my iphone again in a meeting.

So I listen to a lot of rap when I run in the mornings and sometimes I like to try out the lingo. There's this one song where Kanye West says, "that shit cray." I try to say this sometimes, instead of "wow, that's crazy" and Neal just shakes his head and tells me that I can't make it work and I need to stop trying. But now I think it's too late because the word "cray" comes out of my mouth before "crazy" does. I don't know why I think I can pull this off. I am almost 32 and I have some gray hairs and I can remember when my old boss would tell me a story and say "But that's TMI, right?! right?!" and I wanted to punch her in the face for being such a loser and now I'm doing it too.